Real Leaders build Leaders
Ever had that moment when you realize you've been a complete ass? Mine came during a conversation with a CEO – let's call him Jack (there were a lot of Jacks back then). I was 40, feeling pretty damn good about my leadership style when something stopped me cold.
There was Jack, interrupting his team, steamrolling through objections, having an answer for everything. The hero CEO, the smartest guy in every room. And as I watched him, it hit me like a brick: I was looking in a mirror.
My wake-up call wasn't during some fancy leadership retreat or executive coaching session. It was watching another version of myself, fifteen years ago, where I was doing my usual thing - swooping in like some corporate superhero with all the damn answers. There I was, chest puffed out, wisdom flowing like cheap coffee at an all-hands meeting when it hit me: I wasn't leading. I was suffocating my team with my ego.
Here's the thing about being the smartest person in the room - if you actually are, you're in the wrong room.
Let me back up. For years, I thought leadership was about having answers. The more answers you had, the better leader you were. What absolute BS. It's like thinking being a parent means always telling your kids what to do instead of teaching them how to think.
Naval Ravikant nails it: "The best teachers are the ones who show you where to look but don't tell you what to see."
I was doing the opposite - force-feeding my team solutions like some deranged leadership goose.
The Wake-Up Call
It took a struggling European business launch to force me to start changing my mind and my behavior.
Picture this: we're trying to break into the European market, burning through cash and time - faster than a well-funded dotcom (look those up). The local team is disengaged, looking like they'd rather get a root canal than attend another strategy session with me. And there I am, flying in from headquarters every other week, armed with brilliant solutions from my American (this is how we do it) playbook, thinking I could fix everything by just talking louder and slower. Classic American-knows-best!
Scott Galloway puts it perfectly: "The apex of leadership is creating other leaders, not followers."
But there I was, building the world's most expensive echo chamber.
The Hard Truth About Leadership
Want to know the most terrifying thing about leadership? It's not the responsibility, the tough decisions, or even the potential for failure. It's the moment you realize that your job isn't to be right - it's to make others better - it’s to build leaders.
Think about it: every time you jump in with an answer, you're stealing someone's opportunity to grow. Every problem you solve is a learning moment you've just killed. It's like doing your kid's homework - sure, it gets done, but what the hell are they learning?
The Real Job
Here's what changed everything for me: I started asking questions instead of giving answers. Simple stuff like:
"What do you think we should do?"
"What's the worst that could happen?"
"How would you solve this if you couldn't ask me?"
At first, my team hated it. They looked at me like I'd lost my mind. "Just tell us what to do," their eyes screamed. But slowly, something magical happened - they started thinking for themselves. They started leading.
Adam Grant says, "Leaders who can't be questioned end up doing questionable things." I'd add: Leaders who can't stop answering create teams that can't start thinking.
The Transformation
The hardest part? Shutting the f**k up. Seriously. When someone comes to you with a problem, and you know the answer, keeping your mouth shut feels like trying not to scratch an itch. But that discomfort? That's where the magic happens.
Watch what happens when you stop being the answering machine:
People start solving their own problems
Innovation explodes because there's no "right" answer
Your team actually starts to grow instead of just follow
The Bottom Line
Leadership isn't about being the smartest person in the room. It's about creating a room full of people smarter than you. And yes, that means some of them will outgrow you. Some will leave. Some will soar past you so fast it'll make your head spin.
Good. That's the whole damn point.
And remember - we are all just doing our best ~ Assume Positive Intent!
Let me know how I can help.