The Overwhelmed Generation
Why Too Many Choices Create Anxiety
A young woman, paralyzed by the weight of limitless choices, faces a breaking point as she struggles to make a life-altering decision. And then, she learns that confidence, not certainty, is the key to moving forward.
A Contrast of Two Worlds
Growing up in India in the 70s and 80s, choice was a luxury. Our anxieties were based on survival. Physical safety, financial stability. Our families feared whether we could make it in a brutal economy. The ongoing threats of terrorism, riots, and urban violence were just something we lived with.
My worries? Just romance and scraping together enough money to survive.
Even the little things were pre-decided. The schools I attended, what we wore to school (uniforms, fabric and color pre-chosen). Education, career - each step followed a narrow path. Even though I decided who to marry, I was made very aware that it was not a choice many had and that what I was doing was to be frowned upon. There was no questioning, only acceptance.
Fast forward to today. My children have been raised in a different world. One of abundance, gratitude, possibility, and optimism. A simple family vacation would fill their hearts for years. They saw the world as open and full of opportunity.
But that world has changed.
Today’s young generation (like a friend of my kids, let’s call her Lina) stands frozen, paralyzed by limitless options. Not because they lack opportunity, but because they have too much of it.
The Weight of Endless Possibility
Lina, 22, sits in front of her laptop, staring at three job paths. One is to get hired at an established firm that wants people with her college major. Another option is to join a mid-size firm with flexible hours and limited learning and growth. The third is her dream - a startup job with tons of learning if she’s willing to work for less.
She scrolls through LinkedIn, comparing herself to others. Is she making a mistake? Should she wait for something better? What if she chooses wrong?
She closes the laptop. Decides to think about it later. Another day passes. Then a week.
This isn’t just Lina’s story. It’s an epidemic. Young people hesitate. Not because they are lazy but because every choice feels like a high-stakes gamble. Social media and societal expectations fuel it. Everyone seems to have it figured out. The pressure to succeed early is suffocating.
This is FOBO. The Fear of Better Options. The idea that somewhere out there, a perfect path exists. And if they don’t pick it, they’ll fall behind.
The Breaking Point
One night, Lina breaks down. She tells her mom, “I feel stuck. Everyone else is moving forward, and I can’t even pick a path. I should have studied engineering or business or medicine or law or…”
Her mom tries to help: “Just pick a path that seems the best.” But that’s the problem. Best is a moving target. The more options she has, the less certain she feels.
And the irony? Past generations longed for choices. Lina’s generation is drowning in them.
Learning to Move Forward
Lina sat across from me at a quiet café, stirring her coffee absentmindedly. I had seen that look before. Deep in thought but going in circles. “You’re stuck,” I said, breaking the silence.
She sighed. “I know. I just... I don’t want to choose wrong.”
I nodded, setting down my cup. “Let me tell you a story. When I was your age, I didn’t have choices like you. My major? Pre-chosen. My career path? Almost decided for me. I thought having choices would have made everything easier.”
Lina leaned in, listening. “And?”
“And then I came to America. Suddenly, I had choices. Too many of them. I was shocked that I could earn my Masters in Computer Science and choose from more than 100+ classes. Every decision felt huge. I was terrified of getting it wrong. But I realized something. I didn’t need to get it 100% right. I just needed to start.”
Lina exhaled, shaking her head. “But what if I fail?”
I laughed. “Failure? Let me tell you something. I once took a job I thought would be perfect. I uprooted my young family and moved 7000 miles away. When we got there, the form pulled the offer. But because I moved there, I met someone who connected me to an opportunity I would never have found otherwise. That’s how life works. The wrong turns lead you to the right places.”
She sat back, absorbing my words.
“Alright,” I said, leaning forward. “Let’s do this. Instead of asking, What should I do with my life? ask, What’s one step I can take today?”
Lina thought for a moment. “I guess... I could begin looking at start-ups that excite me the most, even if I’m unsure.”
I smiled. “Now you’re thinking. Decide what excites you now. The rest unfolds.”
I pulled out a napkin and started scribbling. “One last thing. If you know your values, choices become easier. So, write down three things that matter most to you. Things that won’t change no matter what job or city or relationship you choose.”
Lina took the pen. After a few moments of thought, she wrote: Growth. Impact. Freedom.
I nodded. “Good. Now, next time you have a tough choice, ask yourself: Which option honors these values the “most”? Not perfectly, but substantially.”
Lina smiled for the first time in days. The weight in her chest felt a little lighter. Maybe the future wasn’t about getting everything right. Maybe it was just about moving forward.
She picked up her phone, opened her notes app, and entered a few words. She was excited and her eyes were active.
The solution isn’t to eliminate choices. It’s to change how we navigate them.
Here’s what young people need to hear from us - parents, mentors, and leaders:
Good Enough is Great
No decision is perfect. Action beats overthinking. The right path is built, not found. “You don’t need to get it 100% right. You just need to start.”
Reframe Failure as Learning
The fear of mistakes keeps young people stuck. But failure isn’t the end. It’s valuable information. “Every wrong turn teaches you something. No experience is wasted.”
Small Decisions First
Instead of asking, What should I do with my life? ask, What’s one step I can take today? “Decide what excites you now. The rest will unfold.”
Clarify Core Values
Instead of chasing external success, focus on what truly matters. “If you know your values, choices become easier.”
Limit Options When Possible
Sometimes, fewer choices mean less stress. Pick three schools, not ten. Focus on one career path at a time. “Simplify. Your mind works better with fewer options.”
Confidence Over Certainty
The future doesn’t belong to those who wait for perfect clarity. It belongs to those who decide and take action.
It’s not about making the right choice. It’s about making a choice and moving forward.
Lina ended up taking a job at a startup. It wasn’t perfect. But within a year, she was thriving. Today, she leads a global process team in another fast-scaling SaaS company.
The next time you see a young person struggling with choices, don’t give them more pressure. Give them your support and permission to choose without fear.
Because confidence is more valuable than certainty. And action beats hesitation. Every time.
And remember that young people and all those who care for them are all doing their best. Sometimes, they just need a little more agency and permission.
Assume Positive Intent!
Warm regards and I hope you enjoy the rest of your Sunday.
Adi