The Yearning for True Wealth

The Roots of Fear

I remember a moment from my childhood in India that is etched into my memory like a bad tattoo. I was at a sporting goods store, maybe all of 11 or 12, trying to buy something for school. I don't even remember what it was, but I'll never forget the look on my father's face. He wanted to get me what I wanted, but I could see the struggle in his eyes. It wasn't even a lot of money, but at that moment, I realized we didn't have the luxury of choice. We were okay, just without options.

That experience likely planted the first seed of fear in me. A fear of not having enough, of being limited by my circumstances. It was a fear that would follow me for years, shaping my beliefs about money and success like a clingy ex-girlfriend who just wouldn't leave.

Building from Nothing

When I came to the US for grad school, I had two suitcases, a one way plane ticket that my father spend several months of wages to buy for me, $400 borrowed from a bank in India, and a full scholarship to SUNY Polytechnic paid for by the generous citizens of the great state of New York.

Paying off that bank debt was the first thing I did when I got a job after school. Building from nothing was a bit of a non-event because I never doubted what I had to do. The biggest challenge was feeling socially accepted and not being familiar with US social norms, like local sports analogies, pop references and the jokes.

Initially, wealth was about having options and not denying my family the simple pleasures and choices. I call it the generosity of small pleasures. It was about creating a life where my children would never have to see the same struggle in my eyes that I saw in my father's.

The Illusion of Success

As I climbed the corporate ladder, I thought I was building the life I wanted. We had a big ass house, nice cars, and I had a well-paying job. But somewhere along the way, I lost sight of what really mattered. It was like I was playing a game of Monopoly, but instead of collecting properties, I was collecting stress and gray hairs.

I was working 80-90 hour weeks, traveling for work, and spending 4 days a week away from my family. I was so focused on chasing success that I didn't realize I was sacrificing the very things that made life worth living. It was like I was running a marathon, but instead of a finish line, there was just a big, neon sign that said, "Congratulations, dumbass! You missed your anniversary!"

The Breaking Point

The realization that I was chasing the wrong things had been building for years. I was a senior executive, but my life was a mess. Everyone at work was unhappy, complaining, and being stupid in the face of reality. It was like I was living in a goddamn soap opera, but without the dramatic music and the sexy affairs.

One night, after another work gathering in a different city, I got a ticket driving back to the hotel. That's when it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was burnt out, or on the edge of it. And the only people who'd care were back home in Illinois. It was like I had been playing a game of "Who Wants to Be a Miserable Bastard?" and I was the f***ing grand prize winner.

That moment was a turning point for me. It was a wake-up call that forced me to confront the life I had built and ask myself if it was really the life I wanted. It was like the universe was giving me a cosmic middle finger, telling me to wake the hell up and smell the misery I had been brewing.

Redefining Wealth Together

My wife has always had more sense, belief, and generosity. She also grew up in India but came from money, as her parents had become fairly well-off by the time she was in middle school. As we started to question and redefine our ideas of wealth and success, we grew closer.

We had hard conversations about what we valued, what we wanted out of life, and what kind of legacy we wanted to leave for our children. It wasn't always easy, but it was necessary.

Three years ago, we made a big change. We downsized to a house half the size of our previous one. It is more cramped and it has also completely changed our social fabric. Those close friends, frequent gatherings and support structures - not so much anymore. I am told most of it is likely in my head - I call bs on that.

For two decades, I realized, I associated self-worth with the size of my house and the cars I drove and the annual bonus or frequent promotion. I lived for the pat on my back from my bosses. It took some time, but the change in thinking started taking hold. The downsize was a bit hard on the children, but they adapted and found happiness much quicker than I did.

The Legacy We Build

As we work to break the cycle and pass on a new legacy to our children, we support them and reinforce that we are always there. They don't need to be corporate slaves. The purpose of life is to find joy, and wealth is the ability to have the time to find that joy. So, we encourage them to build it early and then adapt.

We teach them that success isn't about how much money you make or what title you have. It's about living a life that aligns with your values, a life that allows you to be present for the moments that matter.

The Journey Continues

The most challenging part of pursuing true wealth has been making progress and staying the course, especially when the old programming rears its head and anxieties surface. But the most rewarding aspect has been the joy of owning more of our time and seeing it spread to my family.

True wealth isn't about the zeros in your bank account or the square footage of your house. It's about the richness of your experiences, the depth of your relationships, and the freedom to choose how you spend your time.

It's a journey, not a destination. It's about making choices that align with your values and your dreams. It's about creating a legacy that extends beyond material possessions and touches the lives of those you love.

An Invitation to Freedom

So, my friend, if you find yourself feeling trapped by the pursuit of success, know that you're not alone. Know that it's never too late to redefine what wealth means to you.

Start small. Start by taking a deep breath and asking yourself what really matters. Start by making one choice, one change, that brings you closer to the life you want to live.

Because the path to true wealth is worth it. It's the kind of wealth that lasts, the kind that grows, and the kind that sets you free.

And that, my friend, is a fucking beautiful thing. It's an invitation to a life of freedom, a life where you own your choices, your time, and your happiness.

So take that first step. Embrace the journey. And know that with each choice, you're building a legacy of true wealth. Not just for yourself, but for the generations to come.

Be Wealthy, find Joy and always Assume Positive Intent.

Stay well.

Warm regards,

Adi